Lessons in Partnership
As of this month, Katie and I are celebrating being business partners for eight years, and friends for 15 years. Prior to EQUALibrium, Katie had another business partner for six years when she was trading on Wall Street. While this was my first business partnership – I grew up watching my mother and grandmother run a business together for 20 years. For all intents and purposes, we have been in or around business partnerships all our lives.
Katie and I have had the pleasure of coaching many other business partners as they navigate the twists and turns of running a company that is both profitable and congenial. And sadly, we have worked with several who severed ties with their partners and are nursing emotional wounds and financial losses.
We know that building a business with another person is hard work and we feel lucky to admit that our professional and personal relationship has been one of the most enriching we have experienced. Here are three lessons we have learned, actively practice, and teach others to strengthen and deepen their business partnerships:
1) Put in the time.
This is the first and most important: You must spend quality and quantity time together. You need to be comfortable talking about anything, and especially hard topics. If you hold back and don’t talk about what is on your mind, a distance is created in your relationship which only gets wider and deeper as time goes on. From our experience coaching others, the number one reason partners are seeking a coach is because they are each in a story about the other – and they are no longer communicating effectively. Time spent together creates connection and connection creates easy communication. No short cuts on this one.
For example, Katie and I go away for 4 nights once a year to plan the next 12 months. We meet once a week for 2-3 hours to discuss key issues. And we talk 3-4 times a week, usually at the end of the day when we are picking kids up from school or making dinner, to have a general catch up. (Currently, we are in Cartagena for our annual retreat – please don’t hate us.)
2) Prioritize fairness, not equality.
Successful partnerships are rarely a 50/50 split. No two people are the same and they contribute differently – so trying to create 50/50 pay structures often creates resentment. Instead, discuss what is fair for each partner and come up with a flexible structure that more accurately represents each person’s contributions as they shift and change over time.
Beyond just compensation, partners also need different things from the business and from each other. Someone may need time to care for elderly parents while another may need additional administrative support to carry them through a busy period. Staying flexible and trying to provide each partner with that they need keeps each feeling valued and appreciated.
3) Center the friendship (if you want to stay friends).
They say not to mix business and pleasure. We disagree. If you want your business to succeed, you need to really like the person you are in business with. And if you want to keep having a relationship with that extraordinary person, you must center the friendship over the business partnership. Friendship requires empathy, compassion, compromise, and patience. When we hear “This is business, it isn’t personal,” that usually means someone is planning a jerk move.
Hey, you don’t have to stay friends with your business partner. But we predict that if you continue to treat each other with kindness, communicate regularly and stay flexible to meet each other’s needs, you will increase the likelihood that your business flourishes and your partnership stays healthy for a long time to come.
(Click Post Title for Full Post)